long time no see…

No, I have not dropped off the face of the Earth. Has it really been two months since my last post? Well…prepare yourselves folks, because in my efforts to document my journey for the little future generation that is my girls, I am about to fill you in on two months’ worth of happenings…

the. family.

Every so often (more and more frequently it seems!) I will realize what date it is and think, “how is it already ____ month?” “Wasn’t it just Christmas?” I have came up with my own theory that the reason it seems time goes so fast, is because I stay so darn busy. BUT…I have so much to be thankful for, that I can hardly stand to complain about being too busy. 

Graham & I celebrated our first Easter together this year 🙂 We did baskets for the girls, colored lots of eggs, and took our first family pic together…

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I will never forget Easter of 2013. I spent it too embarrassed & ashamed of the fact that my marriage had crumbled into shreds to drag myself into a church where my then-husband & I had served for so long. Those wounds were fresh, and I couldn’t bear the questions & the stares, albeit meant out of love & concern, I just couldn’t do it.

Easter morning of 2013 I loaded the girls into my car, and we drove off to have breakfast at IHOP. We met my parents there who came in so sweetly so I wouldn’t be alone. And that was our Easter. Afterward, I played our music in the car a little more loudly than usual so the girls wouldn’t hear me crying. It worked (as far as I know!).

So this year, THIS was the redeeming year of last year’s Easter. There was NO way I was gonna NOT celebrate all that my sweet Lord had so graciously done for me. THIS year, I spent it with my now-expanding family, I sang in my new church’s praise band, AND I joined my new church (after going there for a year, lol!) officially.

 So there’s that. 

Faith turned 5. FIVE. How is that possible? We celebrated at our new house this year, with, what else? 

A Pony Party 😉

 

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She got well-stocked up on lots Pony paraphernalia (just as you’d expect!), and even got some cool hand-painted Pony artwork like the painting in the pic above done by her new uncle Aaron 🙂

Graham so sweetly face painted cutie marks for the girls… 

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I enrolled Zoe into aquatic PT at Cardinal Hill…the place is amazing and although we’ve only had a handful of visits so far, the littlest lady seems to love it!
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She also gets to do some really cool land PT while we’re there!

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Both girls have had fun spring events at school, and thankfully my job is fantastic about letting me arrange my schedule to be a part of it…of course, no event would be complete without a few selfies…

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The four of us have taken a few road trips already this year…Graham & I are doing good with finding our own routine together & learning the in’s & out’s of managing our new family…

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We’ve had lots of silly times this spring/summer…

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Faith had her very first dance recital ever…she did AMAZING & I couldn’t have been more proud of her!

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The whole family came out…Graham & I w/ Zoe, my parents, and even John. I am beyond thankful that our divorce situation is very unlike most–we all get along, and we all can attend events together and even have a good time…

And of course, another family photo op 😉

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I seriously cannot believe this is my life sometimes. How amazing our great God is, ya’ll! 

Faith “graduated” from KPREP…onto kindergarten we go….seriously, where has the time gone?

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Zoe “graduated” from preschool….except due to her age she still has two more years of it! 😛

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Celebrating her preschool party…. 🙂

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Faith got her first haircut…yes folks, she’s five. Those curls have been growing basically since she was born. We attempted a haircut once before, but it was nothing short of disaster…this time, NO TEARS!!

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one of  my biggest fears post-divorce has been how my girls would adjust to having parents in separate homes. Thankfully, they have rolled with the punches, and we are all settled in. I’m sure it makes a huge difference that John & I parted on friendly terms, and we support each other in the other’s parenting techniques. BUT…I also have some pretty amazing kiddos. Just sayin.’

the wedding. 

Nope. This is for future reference. Can’t spoil all the details, you know. We have a grand total of 38 days till “I DO”, and we are ready. Everything is booked. Invites sent out. Dresses & suits are purchased. Honeymoon is booked. Premarital counseling is done. All that remains is waiting for the BIG DAY 🙂 When all is said & done though, I could care less about the actual wedding itself. All that matters is that God has brought us to this place together, & I will marry the man He has chosen for my little family. 

I consider myself blessed among women.

me. 

Sometimes it’s hard to put into words what goes on in my mind. Writing is a great outlet for me, but even still, sometimes it’s hard to pull all the thoughts swirling in my mind together…but lately, as I have contemplating my journey to this point, and how Graham & I are merging our journeys together as a new family, many thoughts cross my mind. 

I don’t want my experience to be wasted. I don’t want all that remains of what I have traveled through the past few years to be PTSD, fears I drag along like a child drags his baby blanket, and cynicism. I don’t want to take for granted all God has done in my life. I don’t want to forget that feeling of KNOWING beyond anything else that my pain was so great & my wounds so deep that I could not be living in that moment on my own–that HE, my sweet redeemer, was carrying me. 

I have been reading a book by John Piper called “Don’t Waste Your Life.” The title alone grabbed me because this is my fear. I see so many patients on a daily basis who are on their deathbeds. I often wonder what they think, and I often contemplate what I will say to them because many times it will be my last words with them on this side of heaven. 

One particular quote in the book has stood out to me…

Life is wasted if we do not grasp the glory of the cross, cherish it for the treasure that it is, and cleave to it as the highest price of every pleasure and the deepest comfort in every pain. 

This is an amazing quote to me. I am wasting my life if I do not come to an understanding of the cross, of its’ meaning & glory, and remember that every good thing, every pleasure in this life, as well as the comfort & peace I receive in my most difficult moments in life–ALL of that is because of the cross. 

Come to the end of your life–your one and only precious, God-given life–and let the last great work of your life–before you give an account to your Creator, be this: playing softball & collecting shells. Picture being before Christ, at the great day of judgement: “Look Lord, see my shells.” THAT is a tragedy. And people today are spending billions of dollars to persuade you to embrace that tragic dream. Over against that, I put my protest: don’t buy it. Don’t waste your life. 

Today I did something I didn’t ever think I’d do (well–not the first time in the past couple years I have said that!). 

I got a tattoo. 

After thinking it over for some time, I decided I wanted a permanent reminder somewhere visible to me, of the newness Christ has created in my life. Did I need ink to remember that? No, of course not. But I thought it was a cool idea, so I had the Hebrew word for “new” inked onto my right foot. I LOVE it!! I love that every time I look at my feet (which, ya know, is a daily thing!) I am reminded of my favorite words of scripture which God gave me in the lowest times of life. 

For I am about to do something new.
    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
    I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

-Isaiah 43: 19

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So there it is…I pray nothing is wasted of my life. I want to be poured out. I have such a longing in my heart…to be used, to be emptied. I pray my journey helps another. 

I don’t want to get to the end of my own journey and hand God nothing but shells & softballs…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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