saturday musings

My girls love to say the word “no.” It’s actually Zoe’s favorite word. One of the first things we started working on in her speech therapy was teaching her to answer yes/no questions. Well, that worked pretty easily (if only the rest would come so easy!). Because she says “no” all.the.time.

I decided I’m going to learn that as well.

This past week (as most every week!), I got asked to do multiple things. Extra things I wouldn’t normally have had to do in a typical week. Go here, pick this, do that, deliver this, etc., etc., etc. Not BAD things. Just more on my already full schedule.

I have a deep-seated desire to not let people down. To be all things to all people all.the.time. So if I get asked to do something, I want to help, I want others to be happy, and so I do it.

Well, I am realizing I cannot be all things. I am not superwoman (gasp!).

What happens when I pack too many things into an already full schedule–I feel guilty. I feel like a terrible momma because I get too busy to be what my kids need. I get in a rush at work when my patients deserve more of my time. I talk on the phone in the drive-through instead of speaking to the person at the window. I don’t LISTEN.

I am a pro at multi-tasking.

What I want to be is a pro at this whole balancing act. That’s the hard part.

How do you learn how to balance things when all the things in your life are GOOD? There is not one negative in my life at the moment. My kids don’t play sports–heck, they aren’t even in school yet. I am not committed to a hundred different things at church or work–although I do pack my work schedule pretty full. I am not cutting out time with those I love, in fact, I am trying to figure out a way to make MORE time for that.

But how?

This is just my Saturday morning musing, but what I think I need to do, is just let things be sometimes. My laundry doesn’t all need to be done at once–no one has ever died from laundry piled up (although they may not have clean clothes 😉 ). The world won’t even if I don’t sign off on every single chart from work until later. I read something the other day in a devotion (don’t remember where) but it was based on how God rested on the seventh day, after creating the world…

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.
Genesis 2:1-3

Did He need to rest? I don’t think so. He’s God after all. He doesn’t take breaks from His position.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
Psalm 121: 1-4

If God doesn’t slumber OR sleep, then why would it say in Genesis that he RESTED? Maybe to show me that I need to rest? That’s is OK to take a break sometimes?

It is so easy for me to allow myself to get overwhelmed in the craziness of life. Between building a house, trying to sell my old one (anyone wanna buy it? 😉 ), feeding, clothing, bathing, playing with, and being chauffeur to the ladies, not to mention trying to keep my sweet little patients healthy & home versus the hospital, it is enough to make me feel like I am just barely staying afloat sometimes. Not to mention the fact that I DO appreciate time for myself sometimes (although I usually feel guilty about that 😦 ) and seeing friends, family, & Graham 😉

So my goal lately is to get rid of guilt. Guilt for saying no sometimes to the extras. Guilt for taking breaks when I need it to maintain my own sanity. Guilt for feeling like I could be a way better momma than I am. Guilt for feeling as though I am not doing enough to help Zoe progress. Guilt for worrying that everyone I care about is only getting a percentage of me, when they deserve 100%.

I need to let that go. I need to rest sometimes. Take a break.

And when all else fails, I remember these words…

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:27-29

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