Note to self: You will be VERY sleepy tomorrow, and need lots of caffeine. Let this be a lesson to you from hereon-out to NOT stay up till midnight blogging. No matter how much you love it.
Ok, now that that’s out of the way, exactly HOW do you go back to normal life after perfect, long holiday weekends? It’s like a teaser of how it would be if you were on vacation. Or living in a dream world. Except you’re not, and tomorrow morning the fun ends, and the world goes back to its’ rat race, and coffee pots crank back on, and the traffic jams return. And I go back to my horn-honking 😉 and tryin’ to save some lives & keep those sweet old folks out of the hospital 🙂
This weekend was like the perfect combination of all things GOOD. I had ladies’ night with my girls, and we spent our time eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream (I’ve got the ladies hooked on that stuff 😉 ), telling jokes now that Faith has discovered knock-knock jokes, talking about ponies, playing ponies, buying ponies (yes–my world pretty much revolves around ponies right now, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!). AND…we took a much-needed break from the never-ending list of exercises, activities & “homework” Zoe’s therapists give us to work on with her (no offense to any who may be reading this–but it WAS Labor Day, you know. A girl’s gotta have a break!).
Graham has introduced me to the amazing world of a place called Half-Price Books. For as long as I can remember, I have loved to read. And I especially love Christian, non-fiction books. Currently I am hooked on Donald Miller, John Piper, Bob Goff, and a few other select authors to name a few. I think total this weekend I made, not one, not two, but FOUR trips to Half-Price Books and came away with some good stuff 🙂 Can’t beat the Labor Day sales!
I finally bit the bullet and actually bought some furniture for the house. We can’t sit, sleep & eat on the floor after all! Finding out it will be ready to close in about a month, AND the deep holiday discounts sort of light a fire in me that it was time to make decisions. I love finding bargains and talking my way down from higher prices, so I made my way into Ashley Furniture, and made my way out having furnished Faith’s bedroom & scoring a guaranteed 25% off discount every time I shop there till the house is furnished. I decided to break it down into one room at a time to make it a little easier. Faith is getting an awesome, vintage-y off-white daybed (I am totally loving the vintage, rustic, old look right now!), with the matching furniture to go with it. And no, I am not doing hers (or Zoe’s) room in characters, because as sure as I do, they’ll decide they don’t like them anymore.
So there’s that.
Sunday after church the girls were headed to John’s to spend their first night at his new place. I was really happy he was able to get a nice place, and had everything ready for them to stay. And they were SO excited, and I was excited for them. Honestly, I hadn’t prepared myself at all for how I’d feel after I dropped them off. Other than spending their night with Nana & Papaw each week, they have always spent EVERY night with me. No matter where they were during the day, I knew I could always go in, make my final rounds and check on them, tuck them in again. I had no idea what a quiet, empty apartment feels like.
Nor did I really want to.
But I want the ladies to have a great relationship with John and whatever I can do to aid that I will. So off they went. And I cried all the way home. Because I missed them. And it made me feel that dreaded mommy-guilt I hate so much. The whole, shoulda, woulda, coulda mess that the devil loves to just bring up and make you feel like you are not a great parent. That you could do so much better.
Thankfully, I am learning in those times to remind myself that I am doing the best I can with what I know to be true at the time. It’s all anyone can do really. And just pray.
And Graham was so sweet to spend much of his time with me this weekend. While the girls were at John’s spending their time with him, Graham & I checked out a few of the orchards in the area (girls are gonna LOVE those places!), ate pumpkin muffins, drank pumpkin spice lattes, shopped at Half-Price Books, & watched the Lone Ranger (which was REALLY good), in a movie theater that was basically like a frozen tundra it was so cold. But still good.
Pretty sweet weekend & I’m sad it’s over.
What I learned from this near perfect weekend (with the exception of my crying, blubbering drive home after dropping off my ladies), is that much of my life is an adjustment period I think. It seems I am always adjusting to something. Trying to find a new routine. Lots of newness. But that’s okay. I am also learning to not be afraid of the tears, because they don’t last. And to not run from all my fears. Because they’re not always reality. And yeah–some days are messy, and crazy, and I want to honk my horn extra, point someone to Jesus (honesty, folks!), or cry and ask God what the heck is He doing with me and my life.
But those days don’t last either.
And then those perfect days, just like this past weekend, totally make up for the others 🙂
Off to bed. After I set the coffee pot of course 😉