Do you ever hear a particular song on the radio, and it reminds you of a particular time in your life? I hear Tom Petty or Poison and it reminds me of my dad. Because he always played that kind of music and I remember being driven to school to the sounds of “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” John Mayer always brings back memories of Zoe being in the NICU at Vanderbilt. Because our sweet little nurse had a laptop in her room to chart and she would log it in so we could play music to pass the long hours, and for some reason, the station always played John Mayer. I spent many long days listening to “Waiting on the World to Change.”
Bon Jovi, Aerosmith (two of my favorites, btw!), in addition to many others remind me of my younger years. PLUS…it was just.good.music. They don’t make music like that anymore. Name me a band that can compare with Journey, or the Beetles, and you win. My day is complete when I can roll my windows down and blast the old stuff. This past weekend I was in Louisville and they had an entire radio station dedicated to playing that kind of music, and I decided Lexington needs that as well.
I need to find out who to talk to about that 😉
And then there are the songs that remind you of other seasons of your life. In the winter, I was in a season of grief, depression, and mourning a tremendous loss. I don’t have a song for that. To be quite honest, I hardly even remember much of that time. I think it’s sort of like when you bring a newborn home–you don’t remember those first few months because you’re so sleep-deprived. I don’t remember much about those first few months post-divorce, because I was also sleep-deprived. But not for nearly the same reasons.
The season I am finding myself in now is the complete opposite of where I was last winter. I am finding how true these words are in Ecclesiastes 3...
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.”
Last winter I think part of the old me died. I uprooted myself. My girls. The life we had known was gone. I was torn down, living in grief and spending my days in tears. Now, the new season is here (thank goodness!). I feel like a new me has been born from all of this. We are planting our roots here. My heart is healing, I am being built up, and I now know how it feels to laugh again. To dance. This scripture has truly been brought to life for me.
This is my song for this season. I love the words to this song, because it reminds me that although I am treading on new territory, I don’t walk alone. I am reminded that the God who has called me out into unknown waters also has the power to keep me afloat. I have to look at HIM. Not the waves.
I am not sure that there has ever been truer words for any particular season of my life. Here are the lyrics…
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I totally find myself in these words. And I think the fact that God would call us out, out to where the waves are, is a GOOD thing. Because it means He’s doing something completely amazing in our lives. I want trust without borders. I want to go deeper than my feet could go on their own.
I love the line that says “where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You’ve never failed and you won’t start now.” On my own I WILL fail. I’ll mess up all the good that God has blessed me with. I will let my fear consume me, and I’ll try to take control thinking I know what’s best for ME. But I don’t want what I THINK is best. I want what God KNOWS is best. And so that is my prayer. That God would take me deeper than my own feet could wander. And that my faith will be made stronger.
And this song will just stay on repeat on the way 😉