This week began a whole new chapter for me. A new job. Prior to this, I had not had a new position since graduating nurse practitioner school. I have been pretty pumped about this opportunity, one that will offer me flexibility with the girls’ schedules, opportunity for professional growth, and the ability to be able to make a significant difference in the lives of patients who may not otherwise be able to receive adequate healthcare.
So Sunday night I arrived, & got ready for the week. It has been AWESOME so far & I am thankful for the leap of faith I took in accepting this position, because it is a totally new avenue for me.
This week has also been a week of rest for me personally. A chance to catch my breath.
Prior to this week, things had been chaotic trying to get the girls settled, make an apartment feel like home, finalize house plans, & arrange therapies for the little one because she’s doing so well & I don’t want to lose ground on her progress. So although I miss my ladies terribly, I was more than ready for a short respite.
Monday I ventured out to perhaps THE best park I’ve been to in quite a while. No, I didn’t go see the playgrounds, nor do I know if they even have one. But what I DO know is that park is the place you want to run. I have since been there twice, & tomorrow night will be my third trip. If only I could scoop that park up & stick in somewhere in Lexington 🙂
Monday night I had no idea where anything was, so I parked my car, and took off. I noticed cars driving one way on the side of the road, and runners, bikers, walkers, etc., on the other. It made me nervous, though, because the scenic loop this park offers goes up and down some hills, with some pretty sharp curves, and you can’t really see what’s coming around the curve.
So I ran, and ran, and ran. My best run ever. Pretty darn proud of myself. There is something so relaxing about running. I’ve NEVER been a runner. In fact, I used to joke about how I’d never run. After John & I began the divorce process, I ran one day. I just did it. And something about it struck a chord in me that’s never left. I have since done three 5K races, and soon to be a fourth. I’m not really good, but that’s only if you compare me to another. I only compete with myself 😉
So Monday night, I kept weaving to the side on that curvy road, afraid a car would come flying around the corner that I couldn’t see coming. It wasn’t until I was on my way back to my vehicle that I realized it was a one way road 🙂 No wonder there were no cars coming on my side.
I am realizing that life is a lot like that. We run, trying to keep a steady pace, pushing ourselves. Only sometimes we come upon curves, and we can’t see around to the other side. We get scared. We try to move over, to help see around the curve, just.in.case. Maybe there’s some kind of hurt, some kind of loss, something painful, that WE can avoid in our own power, if only we can see around the curve. We try to remain in control of things, rather than trusting the one who put us on that road in the first place–to remember that HE is already on the other side of those curves, and sometimes He knows it’s a one way street, and that we are ok. If only we will just trust him.
I ran across this passage in one of my devotional books the other day…and thought it was perfect.
If God loves us, why does He seemingly withhold His blessings, especially when we’re weak or vulnerable? That question has no easy answer. After all, none of us can understand why God does the things He does. But, I’m convinced that the things we sometimes see as senseless suffering are often blessings in disguise.
God sees the entire landscape of our lives from an eternal perspective, and He knows, far better than we ever could, the value of His grace. God loves us intimately & individually. He loves us too much to offer us lesser gifts, gifts that might somehow distance our hearts from Him.
I try to remind myself now, that just because circumstances look crazy, or situations are discouraging, simply means I cannot yet see around the curve. But I know who is on the other side, and He loves us too much to offer us less than the best. And I think this part of the journey can be exciting if we will allow it to be. How freeing that we can rest and relax, knowing that we don’t HAVE to have all the answers, or see around all the curves, we just have to follow the one who does!