We are now just short of seven weeks until we finally get to meet Miss Zoe 🙂 I am finding the closer we get to delivery the more mixed my emotions become. As much as I’ve tried to enjoy this pregnancy, I honestly am ready for it to be over. I love being pregnant, but I don’t love being exhausted, big, unable to sleep, and having a restroom as my new best friend. Not being pregnant comes with a trade-off, though, and as much as I can’t wait to finally hold our baby girl, part of me is scared of the c-section, overwhelmed by the inevitable NICU stay, and wondering how on earth will I manage two babies and still be a good mom?
Many of you probably read John’s blog, and if so, you probably read his post about Good News/Bad News. It’s given us both a whole new perspective of how we view not just this pregnancy and the new addition to our family, but life in general. I am still learning, though, to not look at each ultrasound or doctor’s visit as presenting a potential for “bad news.”
Zoe has been doing wonderfully though, and we are very thankful. She has been very stable in utero, growing & moving like a champ. She definitely has some spunk in her, I think. At our last ultrasound, she had both her feet flipped completely over her head 🙂 She seems to always be on the move, especially at night when I’m trying to sleep 😦 Our doctors at Vanderbilt have been fantastic; it still amazes me at all the wonderful people God has brought into our lives through this whole experience. They’ve been very positive and excited about how well she’s doing, which is great because every momma loves to hear good things about her baby!
I am now seeing my local OB twice a week (yes, I know, I am their frequent flyer patient!). While it is a big inconvenience and rather annoying to be there so much, I know the docs just want to keep a close eye on Zoe. One day a week I have an NST (non-stress test), where they record her heart rate and movement, to see if it increases with her activity as it should. On a separate day, I have a biophysical profile, where her movements, practice breathing, amniotic fluid, etc. is all measured. We are still having ultrasounds monthly at Vanderbilt.
Zoe’s birthday is set for October 19 at 7:30 am! Unless she changes her mind of course 😉 She will have her back surgery the very next day, and hopefully from there it just becomes a watch & wait until we go home. More than anything, I just want to be home with my sweet family, and get settled in again.
It’s amazing to me that it has already been almost 16 weeks since we first learned of Zoe’s spina bifida. It’s really an odd thing for me to think I’m thankful for spina bifida, because no mom wants anything but the best for her child, but I am a completely different person than I was 16 weeks ago, and for that I am thankful. I like the new me better and I think it’s made me into a better mom even 🙂
Here’s a little picture I thought I would leave you with. Our Zoe, at 31 weeks, asleep….I think she already has some fat on her little cheeks for me to pinch when she gets here 😉